Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Thoughts on this year's Oscars

My excuse is; I was only watching it because a friend was nominated. By lunchtime I knew he hadn't won, but we decided to go to his sister's house to watch the awards anyway.

Without further ado, here are my awards for this year's Oscars:

Best Performance by Banquo's Ghost

Michael Moore

Most in need of a good feed and a slap

Renee Zellweger

Best Reason for Limiting Speech Time

Nicole Kidman

Worst Reason for Limiting Speech Time

The Visual Effects Guys from LOTR: The Two Towers and Adrian Brody (tie)

The Can't Believe They're Still Alive award

Olivia De Havilland and Michael Moore

The Laughing in the face of proposed murder award

The audience, after their response to Steve Martin's jocular reference
to the teamsters helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo (the
joke was funny, the response was chilling.)

Worst-maintained Fixed Smile

Julia Robert's when she realised she would be sitting next to old, ugly

Most In Need of a High School Education

Cameron Diaz acting like a bored 12 year old as if she was auditioning
for the next Roman Polanski film

Most Mixed Signals Award

Booing a political activist and cheering and applauding a statutory
rapist (sorry, got confused myself, Jack Nicholson didn't win, did he?)

And in other news, we find out why Steve Martin's quips were funnier than usual

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