Sunday, June 15, 2003

New Movies I Have Seen

This is to catch up on a huge backlog of films that I should have reviewed earlier.

The Marvel Films

The Hulk

Okay, it hasn't been released yet, but in the trailer- he picks up a tank by the gun barrel and tosses it - Just like the real Hulk - I am so there!


So full of eye candy, my pupils felt like throwing up afterwards. Suffers from the first ten minutes being so fucking amazing that the rest of the film is an anti-climax - which then breaks down into a series of climaxes - which then have to lead into the next film. At least with The Two Towers, Empire Strikes Back, and Back to the Future 2 we knew we were half way through a trilogy. How many more X films are there going to be? At least Nightcrawler was in it. More spectacular but somehow not as satisfying as the first film. But it's good to have a big Hollywood blockbuster criticise the US defense establishment. I'm sure Brian Cox's villain, Stryker, is meant to bear a resemblance to Donald Rumsfeld - but others say it's meant to be John Ashcroft.


Just who was this film made for? The version of Daredevil is not really the Marvel Comics version so I can't see it appealing to comics fans that much. And most movie goers (who won't be familiar with the character) are going to wonder why a blind lawyer has to dress up in a fetish costume to fight crime. Why doesn't he get a gun? Or does he just like the feel of the tight leather against his skin? Maybe this is why Ben Affleck wanted to play the character so much. It can't be because he gets to look at himself in the mirror a lot...

Blade II

I'm a big fan of Guillermo del Toro and I enjoyed the first Blade, much to my surprise (up until Spiderman I thought it was the best Marvel film adaptation, albeit of a fairly obscure character - hell, I was a big fan of Tomb of Dracula, I knew who he was.)

Blade II was a lot of fun as well, but more into comic book story dynamics than a non-comic book fan would feel comfortable. It keeps del Toro's insect obsession, looks marvellous and Wesley Snipes is still a great hero, but it's more of a fantasy film than a horror film. I think it was great fun, but not for non-fans, of the character or comic books in general.

Other Films


A H.P. Lovecraft adaptation by Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna. Tedious, disgusting, juvenile crap a million light years removed from Reanimator , From Beyond (or even Society.) It's one saving grace is a final image that gets the closest to Lovecraft that I've seen in ages (since, maybe, In the Mouth of Madness.)

Thir13en Ghosts

Another waste of time from Dark Castle, Joel Silver and Robert Zemeckis' horror film production company. Producing a horror film each year to be released at Halloween is a great idea, they could just be a little better than this, House on Haunted Hill and Ghost Ship. That being said, the worse thing about each film is how much they waste particularly good settings. It appears that all the effort and talent in the Dark Castle films has gone into the set design with none left for script, direction or acting.

Donnie Darko

Odd indie film set in the eighties about misanthropic loner who hallucinates (maybe) a demonic rabbit called Frank. One of those films you don't want to say too much about, but I would highly recommend it.

Cruise of the Gods

Funny piss-take on science fiction fans and the actors who exploit them - or do they exploit the actors? By the makers of Marion and Geoff with Rob Brydon as a self-obsessed actor who becomes a guest on a fan cruise. Says some very interesting things about the nature of fandom, both critical and otherwise.

Phone Booth

A Larry Cohen script shat upon by Joel Schumaker's direction. Colin Farrell is everywhere at the moment, and it's nice to see (or mainly hear) Keifer Sutherland in films again. After 24 Keifer Sutherland is one man I don't want to hear at the end of a sniper rifle.

My Little Eye

A chilling take on the Big Brother phenomenon that could be considered a cyberpunk take on House on Haunted Hill. One of the scariest films I've seen in ages.

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